Woman to Woman: Telling Your MBA Story Starts with Confident Self-Talk

Woman to Woman: Women are like snowflakes – each is unique and unlike any other, yet collectively they have certain common traits. Woman to Woman takes a closer look at those commonalities and how they impact the MBA application process.

It’s time we got a handle on the negative self-talk. It happens in the mirror before a big night out and it happens when you’re evaluating whether you are a strong candidate for business school — women are just more likely than men to zero in on the negative. I often say that when you’re asked to rank yourself on a scale of one to ten, women should add one point and men should subtract one point to get an accurate account of their work.

When telling your MBA story to the Admissions Committee and beyond, you must present yourself and your accomplishments in a way that inspires the confidence of others. This will makes a huge difference in how you are perceived in the MBA application process, in an interview, in the classroom, or in your field. Improving your self-talk can be as simple as making a few adjustments:

1. Be aware of how you affect your own image

We live busy lives and it’s all too easy to go through your self-evaluations on autopilot. Give serious thought to how your words are affecting your image — are they spotlighting your strengths or downplaying your abilities? No one is going to step in to show you off if you can’t speak up for yourself! Being aware of how you speak about yourself is the first step to making conscious changes. It can be helpful to ask a trusted friend or colleague for feedback. Too often your responses and your word choices have become so automatic that you may not even notice that you do it.

2. Understand what you do well

Many women have a tendency to shrug off accomplishments the same way they might shrug off compliments. Don’t undersell yourself. Even if you were only responsible for one or two tasks in a larger picture — recognize how your work made a difference and what you did that advanced your team. When you focus only on what others did well, you miss out on an opportunity to spotlight your contribution. The better you come to understand your strengths and how you are a valuable part of a team, the stronger your personal brand.

3. Shake off the self-doubt

Oftentimes, your worst enemy in professional life is your own nagging self-doubt. If you tell yourself you aren’t good enough, others will sense that insecurity. It’s easy to get caught up in how many people can do something better than you without taking a step back and remember the things you’re doing right. If you’re a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re already above average! We tend to dwell on the 30% left to go without taking a moment to be proud of just how far we’ve already come.

4. Practice positivity

Everyone has heard the advice “fake it till you make it” and occasionally, this can be a helpful trick. Yet Dr. Suzanne Roff, psychologist and founder of Compass Point Consulting warns that habitually “faking it” can backfire and only highlight the lack of self-confidence beneath the surface. Instead, she suggests focusing that energy on practicing, rather than faking, confidence. It’s a tiny adjustment in your thinking, but makes all the difference in how you perceive yourself and your words.

5. Walk the line to stay humble

Being able to speak confidently and honestly about your accomplishments helps everyone — it gives you and your team credibility and inspires confidence in others. The goal is never to become arrogant or lose that sense of balance. When you can highlight your personal successes with the same enthusiasm that you use to share your team members’ accomplishments, you’ll be just as comfortable accepting praise and thanks as you are offering it to others.