Woman-to-Woman: Putting Business School on the Timeline
Greetings from St. Lucia! I’m on vacation this week and just awoke to another day of sunshine. Our friends were married here on Saturday – I am such a fan of destination weddings in tropical places. The bride and groom are attorneys as are many of the wedding guests (no lawyer jokes!). As I have gotten to know everyone over the last few days, I have learned about their really interesting jobs and lives. Many have children (which they left at home!) It got me thinking about the work-marriage-children dilemma in which women often find themselves. You know – when you are single, everyone drives you crazy about getting married; when you are married, everyone drives you crazy about having babies. All of this outside and self-imposed expectation of a certain “life” timeline can drive even the sanest person batty.
We hear all the time that women today are prioritizing their career and education while waiting longer for marriage and children. I certainly see this among my female friends. Still, many women are actually hanging onto artificial timelines — believing that they have to be married by 28, own a home by 30, have a child by 32 or any number of constructed timetables. While assigning deadlines to these goals can seem benign, it can also impact decisions and actually prevent women from reaching for other goals along the way. It’s time we accepted a less rigid sequence. Instead think about the many things we want to accomplish and the parts of the puzzle that we can control, like getting an MBA, and place those pieces in our plans.
Stay Flexible
Plans change all the time and accepting this will save you a lot of regret. Business school may not have been in your plan back when you first came up with your timeline, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t fit perfectly into the life you have now. If business school is what will take your career to that next level and open up new opportunities to make a difference — you need to find a place for it on the timeline.
The same goes for women who married and started a family after undergrad, it’s equally important to remember that there’s no rule that says you can’t earn your MBA while you are married with children. You may have a few additional pieces to consider, like whether or not relocating is an option for your spouse and the added cost of childcare in your budget, but you can make it happen.
It’s Not Now or Never
Don’t get too caught up in making a final decision today. Because business school may not seem like it will fit into your life right now doesn’t mean it’s a dream you have to let go. Maybe you need to finish paying off some loans or feel as though you need to finish planning your upcoming wedding before you get serious about your applications — these are perfectly valid decisions if it’s what feels right for your life. Continue to explore options for your future and work to make them happen when it makes sense for you.
Stay in Your Now
Despite whatever hopes and dreams you have for down the road, avoid letting future possibilities limit current opportunities. Some women worry about entering a high-pressure field that is notorious for long hours and high stress. Even when they’re out on their own, the very idea of a future family can loom over plans — “How would I do this job and have time to see my kids?” It’s important to choose a field you love, an arena where you can excel today. If in the future you need to adapt for a family, you will have built a record of success that will lay the foundation for a myriad of options.
Don’t be held hostage by the timeline. You’ll come to see that you can “have it all” —maybe just not exactly how you originally planned. You can be committed to both a career and a marriage, an education and a family — we need to think in terms of “all of the above”, building a life that is full and meaningful, while remembering that it’s okay to stray from your original path as life unfolds.
