Lessons in Death

When you are admitted to business school and arrive on campus, you join the community of current students, faculty and staff. If you engage fully, you should expect to form some amazing lifelong bonds. I was reminded of this in an incredibly sad way this past weekend. Columbia Business School lost one of its community members on Thursday. DeShaun Maria Harris, a first year MBA student died unexpectedly on her 27^th birthday. I’ve known DeShaun since her junior year in college when she was a fellow in a program that I managed. From University of Georgia, she moved to NYC to pursue her passion for media and in furtherance of that passion, she was attending business school to launch her own entrepreneurial venture in the media space.

On the day that DeShaun died, her business school cluster, 65-70 peers that take most of their classes together, flooded the hospital in support. On Sunday they were out en masse for her memorial service, not simply to pay their respects to the family, but genuinely to grieve. In the last seven months, a real community had formed and losing a community member has devastated the group. That doesn’t come from simply co-locating, sharing classrooms and attending a few classes together. This community of students was built from each person giving themselves to and receiving others into the community. Of course, it was sad to see their heartbreak, but I hope they see the gift of these friendships and this community that will be linked forever. In fact, when people talk about the power of the MBA network, it’s these types of bonds that serve as the real foundation.

In coming to terms with this loss, I continue to look for the lesson. What should we take from this tragedy? There are two things that keep coming to mind. First, DeShaun clearly knew what she wanted and was ambitiously pursuing it, yet at the same time she was open to new experiences. And the other thought was that over the years that I knew her, she had matured, but she hadn’t aged. She was as exuberant and enthusiastic as she was at 20 years old

As you pursue business school or anything else, fiercely go after it, yet be open to new experiences and the journey along the way. I’ve found that the journey is where the adventure lies and is often better than (or at least just as good as) the destination. And as you have new experiences, some of them positive and some of them negative, use them to help you grow and mature. Use them to make you better, faster, stronger. Use them to live life more abundantly and more fully. Don’t allow them to steal your smile or your joy. Don’t allow them to separate you from your aspirations and dreams and desires.

Death is never the way that we want to learn a lesson – certainly there are less painful and less dramatic ways to gain insight! But death does cause us to reflect in a way that little else does.

Rest in Peace, DeShaun.